Yesterday, I was watching a rerun of Steve Harvey when I received some unexpected advice. Guest Eric Thomas was on the New Years special, and he was giving some members of the audience tips for how to reach their goal for the new year. I anticipated “lose weight” and other cliché resolutions, but the first person to ask for help was a 35-year-old female who held up a sign that said, “find a man.” This lady had been to Home Depot and the grocery store at night with hopes of finding a man. She was serious about her goal! And while I laughed about the extreme measures she took, I couldn’t help but think about myself and my single friends. We are constantly making jokes about our singleness!
Eric Thomas’ advice is what’s important, though. Instead of being active in your search to find a man, “become a wife. Become a woman that somebody wants. Keep workin’ on you, and while you’re workin’ on you, he’s somewhere workin’ on him. And at the right time, y’all are gonna come together.”
I never guessed that I would get such great advice from someone who is also called the “hip hop preacher,” but God works in mysterious ways. In my own study of 1 Corinthians, I recently read this:
“Are you married? Do not seek divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.” (7:27)
Do I think God is asking that I remain single forever? No. But I do think he is asking me to shift my focus. Instead of pursuing a godly man, why not pursue God himself? At a small Christian university where I should be pointed toward the cross, I’m constantly pointed towards marriage. Marriage is a fine goal, but I should never want it more than Jesus. Easier said than done, I know…
But here’s my challenge for the both of us: In 2017, don’t make it your goal to find a man. Make it your goal to find Jesus in your season of singleness. Acknowledge that there is a purpose to such a time. Like C.S. Lewis says, “I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait.”